Human touch

It’s weird…this week, I’ve finally started getting comfortable with the idea of being single.  It feels alright, ya know?  I’m good with it.  However…

One of the most difficult things I’ve dealt with in being by myself again is the lack of intimacy.  And I don’t necessarily mean sex, although sex does rule.  But I mainly mean just simple human touch:  cuddling, holding hands, kissing…things like that.

I remember the night I broke my leg.  I was in the ER in a hospital all by myself 250 miles from home, with no one to comfort me or tell me it was going to be okay.  My wife and I had been split up a week at that point…and I was so angry with her…and hurt.  I don’t think I ever felt so alone or lonely as I did that night.

And when my college sweetheart and I dated for the short time that we did, I thought about sex…but I thought more about those simple human touches than anything.  And really enjoyed those moments when we had them.  I’m not sure if this is just me or what…

Even now…I’m not looking for a relationship, but the idea of companionship just sounds nice.  I’d be down for just making out with someone.  Is there something wrong with me?  On one hand, I feel like there is…but on the other hand, there’s so much more to romance than getting it on, ya know?  I kinda feel like I did when I was in high school…the shy fat kid that believed in love and romance, and if sex happened, that would be really cool.

Seriously…is something wrong with me?  I feel like I’ve regressed or something.  Or maybe I just fell and hit my head and don’t remember it. :-)

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