June 21, 2013

Sometimes you’re moving along in life, and things seem to be going well…then you run into a brick wall. You’re shaken up, your life is totally changed and you’re badly hurt. But then you begin to recover…and your life becomes better than it was before…much better.

As many of you know, I moved permanently to Kansas City in December 2010, having been here on business off and on since July. A few months after I moved here, I met Michelle…at a really obnoxious bar in the Power & Light District. I wasn’t even looking at her in “that way” until my friend Troy broached the subject. We went on a date 2 days later and have been together ever since.

These years in Kansas City have been the greatest of my life thus far, with a lot of that due to Michelle in my life. She is the greatest woman in the world, and I am very lucked and blessed to have her. And I am now something that I never wanted to be or thought I would be–a parent. Alex is a great kid, and I love him as if I helped create him myself. And I love being a parent.

If I could, I would give Michelle the wedding of her dreams…but we are realistic people that don’t want to spend a fortune and/or take on debt. So we’ve talked about having a simple wedding for some time now…and now the time has come.

I am pleased to announce that Michelle and I will be getting married on Friday June 21st. It will be a small simple ceremony with just a few family members and friends. However, my hope is to have gatherings in both Kansas City and St. Louis to celebrate this ridiculously awesome union in the coming months. I hope to see you there!

I love you Michelle…and I can’t wait to make you my blushing bride. :-*

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How to (possibly) lose a customer over $1.08

I love Panera Bread (St. Louis Bread Company)…their food is good, and well worth the money. I’ve been going there for over 20 years now, and I love that they’ve spread across the country. And their customer service is awesome…very rarely have I had a poor experience. Unfortunately, today I had an experience so ridiculous that I may not be able to be a customer anymore. And I can’t believe I even went through all this…but it became a principle issue.

I went to my local Panera here in suburban KC, where I live. They have a deal right now where you can get a bakery item for 99 cents with the purchase of a meal. Well, I wanted a cookie, but I was ordering on the side away from the bakery. I didn’t know what I wanted, but didn’t want to hold up the line, so I figured I could just order my lunch then turn around and order my cookie. I’ve done it a couple of times before…I’m not trying to make it a habit, but I figured it would be no big deal like the previous times.

The counter person was really nice, but told me that she could not ring up the cookie for 99 cents, since I wasn’t buying it with a meal. Plus she had no way to override it. Okay, fair enough…I’ll just talk to the manager. Then I noticed that it’s starting to get really busy and I don’t want to bog him down with something like this. I really want my dollar back because I can use it, but I don’t want to hold up a lunch line. I’ll just check in with Panera on Twitter. Maybe they can add that dollar back to my Panera card.

So I came home and shot them a few tweets about this situation. I got this response:

“Hi Terry. The 99 cent sweet offer needs to be rung up with a meal and drink. If you contact cafe mgmt they may be able to fix.”

Hmmm…okay…I’m starting to get annoyed now. I responded as follows:

“So now I have to go back up there to talk to the manager, rather than your customer service team fixing this? Which is fine…I will, for the principle of the matter. Then I’ll send a complaint about this whole deal over to Sunset Hills”

So I did indeed send a complaint email to their corporate offices in Sunset Hills (a suburb of St. Louis). I told them everything I’ve said here, then I got in my car and went back to Panera…because now I’m pissed off about this.

I went in and asked to speak with the manager. I was very calm…not rude or angry or anything. I explained the situation minus my contacting customer service. He explained to me that overriding the price causes some sort of issue. I didn’t catch exactly what issue, but based on my years in retail, it could be a shortage concern. He then proceeded to tell me two things that he really shouldn’t have said:

1. “They CAN override the price, but they’re not supposed to, unless…” Then he trailed off.

2. “Just make sure to order your bakery item at the same time next time, and there won’t be any problem.” I really don’t think he was trying to be rude here, but…you see how it reads. I accepted my $1.08 without saying anything more, other than thanking him.

Look…I was trying to be polite to other people and didn’t think that getting that 99 cent cookie a few minutes after ordering my meal was a big deal. Furthermore, the register was closed over on the bakery side, so even if I wanted to order over there, I couldn’t…because when I got the cookie, the counter person rang me up on the cafe side. Then I’m basically told, “You wouldn’t have had this problem if you had done it the right way.” No kidding! BUT I WAS TRYING TO BE POLITE AND NOT SCREW UP OTHER PEOPLE’S BUSY SCHEDULES!!!

As I was proofreading this, my tweet regarding what the manager said got the attention of Panera’s Twitter folk(s). I’ll post a followup soon. I love Panera and don’t want to quit going there. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to put up with some nonsense like this.

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22 Things Happy People Do Differently

Someone posted this list over at The Cellar, and I’ve seen it in a couple of other spots as well. I try to do these things as much as possible, though it’s easier said than done. Maybe it will help you too.

1. Don’t hold grudges.
Happy people understand that it’s better to forgive and forget than to let their negative feelings crowd out their positive feelings. Holding a grudge has a lot of detrimental effects on your wellbeing, including increased depression, anxiety, and stress. Why let anyone who has wronged you have power over you? If you let go of all your grudges, you’ll gain a clear conscience and enough energy to enjoy the good things in life.

2. Treat everyone with kindness.
Did you know that it has been scientifically proven that being kind makes you happier? Every time you perform a selfless act, your brain produces serotonin, a hormone that eases tension and lifts your spirits. Not only that, but treating people with love, dignity, and respect also allows you to build stronger relationships.

3. See problems as challenges.
The word “problem” is never part of a happy person’s vocabulary. A problem is viewed as a drawback, a struggle, or an unstable situation while a challenge is viewed as something positive like an opportunity, a task, or a dare. Whenever you face an obstacle, try looking at it as a challenge.

4. Express gratitude for what they already have.
There’s a popular saying that goes something like this: “The happiest people don’t have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.” You will have a deeper sense of contentment if you count your blessings instead of yearning for what you don’t have.

5. Dream big.
People who get into the habit of dreaming big are more likely to accomplish their goals than those who don’t. If you dare to dream big, your mind will put itself in a focused and positive state.

6. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Happy people ask themselves, “Will this problem matter a year from now?” They understand that life’s too short to get worked up over trivial situations. Letting things roll off your back will definitely put you at ease to enjoy the more important things in life.

7. Speak well of others.
Being nice feels better than being mean. As fun as gossiping is, it usually leaves you feeling guilty and resentful. Saying nice things about other people encourages you to think positive, non-judgmental thoughts.

8. Never make excuses.
Benjamin Franklin once said, “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” Happy people don’t make excuses or blame others for their own failures in life. Instead, they own up to their mistakes and, by doing so, they proactively try to change for the better.

9. Get absorbed into the present.
Happy people don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future. They savor the present. They let themselves get immersed in whatever they’re doing at the moment. Stop and smell the roses.

10. Wake up at the same time every morning.
Have you noticed that a lot of successful people tend to be early risers? Waking up at the same time every morning stabilizes your circadian rhythm, increases productivity, and puts you in a calm and centered state.

11. Avoid social comparison.
Everyone works at his own pace, so why compare yourself to others? If you think you’re better than someone else, you gain an unhealthy sense of superiority. If you think someone else is better than you, you end up feeling bad about yourself. You’ll be happier if you focus on your own progress and praise others on theirs.

12. Choose friends wisely.
Misery loves company. That’s why it’s important to surround yourself with optimistic people who will encourage you to achieve your goals. The more positive energy you have around you, the better you will feel about yourself.

13. Never seek approval from others.
Happy people don’t care what others think of them. They follow their own hearts without letting naysayers discourage them. They understand that it’s impossible to please everyone. Listen to what people have to say, but never seek anyone’s approval but your own.

14. Take the time to listen.
Talk less; listen more. Listening keeps your mind open to others’ wisdoms and outlooks on the world. The more intensely you listen, the quieter your mind gets, and the more content you feel.

15. Nurture social relationships.
A lonely person is a miserable person. Happy people understand how important it is to have strong, healthy relationships. Always take the time to see and talk to your family, friends, or significant other.

16. Meditate.
Meditating silences your mind and helps you find inner peace. You don’t have to be a zen master to pull it off. Happy people know how to silence their minds anywhere and anytime they need to calm their nerves.

17. Eat well.
Junk food makes you sluggish, and it’s difficult to be happy when you’re in that kind of state. Everything you eat directly affects your body’s ability to produce hormones, which will dictate your moods, energy, and mental focus. Be sure to eat foods that will keep your mind and body in good shape.

18. Exercise.
Studies have shown that exercise raises happiness levels just as much as Zoloft does. Exercising also boosts your self-esteem and gives you a higher sense of self-accomplishment.

19. Live minimally.
Happy people rarely keep clutter around the house because they know that extra belongings weigh them down and make them feel overwhelmed and stressed out. Some studies have concluded that Europeans are a lot happier than Americans are, which is interesting because they live in smaller homes, drive simpler cars, and own fewer items.

20. Tell the truth.
Lying stresses you out, corrodes your self-esteem, and makes you unlikeable. The truth will set you free. Being honest improves your mental health and builds others’ trust in you. Always be truthful, and never apologize for it.

21. Establish personal control.
Happy people have the ability to choose their own destinies. They don’t let others tell them how they should live their lives. Being in complete control of one’s own life brings positive feelings and a great sense of self-worth.

22. Accept what cannot be changed.
Once you accept the fact that life is not fair, you’ll be more at peace with yourself. Instead of obsessing over how unfair life is, just focus on what you can control and change it for the better.

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So long, Stan

I knew this day would come, especially with his failing health…but it doesn’t hurt any less…

Stanley Frank Musial, born in Donora, Pennsylvania on November 21, 1920…spent 22 years with the St. Louis Cardinals as an outfielder and first baseman…24 All-Star selections…3630 hits…475 home runs…a .331 lifetime batting average…

Clearly, he was one of the greatest ballplayers to ever play the game. But he transcended that…

If you’ve spent any significant amount of time in St. Louis, you have learned about Stan Musial. You revere him…you have met friends outside Busch Stadium by the Musial statue…you have seen the crowd go apeshit on Opening Day at Busch Stadium as he is announced…you’ve seen him break out his harmonica for “Take Me Out to the Ballgame”…

I had the honor of meeting him as a kid…he was an owner of Red Bird Lanes, a bowling alley in South City where I bowled in a league. I got a trophy for Most Improved Bowler during our league one year…he presented me the trophy and I got to shake his hand. I think I have his autograph somewhere among my belongings…

Stan Musial was larger than life, yet more human than most folks. Cardinal Nation will be in mourning for some time…Opening Day is almost here, and Busch Stadium will simply not feel right for a bit. But the Cardinal greats in Baseball Heaven will be watching over Baseball Heaven…and the Cardinals will delight the masses for another year…

So long, Stan…you truly were “The Man.”

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Tinfoil Theatre

Barack Obama has employed Lance Armstrong and Manti Te’o to distract Americans. He’s installing himself as dictator for life earlier than planned because his Kenyan mother and father are about to reveal that Sandy Hook was a hoax.

Thank God the government can’t hear my thoughts with this new hat…

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Am I getting old…or smart…or both?

I used to be able to throw down some alcohol, mainly beer. There would be weekends in high school (yeah, my friends and I started early) where I would down 3 40-ounce bottles of beer in a night. That’s the equivalent of 10 beers. Then there was the period where I was pretty much drunk every night for almost 4 months…at age 21.

I’ve slowed down and become much more responsible since those days…there are times now where I go months without drinking. But here and there, I like to live it up. Last night was one of those nights.

Michelle and I went out with some friends last night…we had a DD, so I decided I was gonna drink hard. And I did…6 25-ounce beers over the course of 6 hours…12 1/2 beers. Wow…

Fortunately, I do not/did not have a classic hangover. I was drunk, but probably more tired than anything. But I definitely felt off when I got up…and still do.

I enjoy beer and wine and other spirits…I enjoy the actual taste of what I drink. And I do like a nice tidy buzz. But I just can’t drink like I did last night anymore…it’s not good for me physically or mentally. I had some cottonmouth this morning and felt worn out, but didn’t feel too bad physically. Mentally though, I just felt really off-kilter…still do, though feeling better now than I did when I got up 4 hours ago.

Above all, I don’t like the feeling of losing control as I get less sober…I was fairly well-behaved last night, but still. Besides…I’m probably more ridiculous sober than when drinking. ;-)

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Let’s simplify things

This post started as an idea a few weeks ago…maybe sooner. I’ve been trying to find the right words for the last few days…I wanted to strike “an appropriate tone.” But…well, read the title of this blog post.

I have one simple goal in 2013…to simplify my life: finances, relationships, health, etc. I am 37 years old…I have a wonderful fiancée…an awesome son…a great family and friends. But I am fucking sick of dealing with unnecessary nonsense bullshit!

I’ve always prided myself on keeping one foot in the mainstream and the opposite hand holding a freak flag. That’s not going to change, but a streamlining is needed, and it starts now. I’m sure I will confuse some and piss off others…I already do that though, so no change there. But I have to do what is best for me and for my family.

Talk is cheap…but the actions I take this year will far outshine any words I’m putting in this post right now.

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30

Michelle turns 30 today…she has delicious birthday pancakes waiting for her when she wakes up later on. :-)

30 was a great year for me…the 30s in general have been very good to me. I have a feeling they will be good to her too.

Happy birthday baby…I love you! :-*

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Good night, Springfield

Springfield has been a wonderful hostess during my 4 month stay…at one point, I had even considered bringing the family here to settle down. Unfortunately, things just didn’t pan out, so it’s time to head home to Kansas City.

I only ask that you fix your water…good God, it’s terrible! And you need some more places that stay open later.

Until we meet again…and I’m sure we will…

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Don’t believe the hype

The way the political campaigns and people are talking, you would swear that this is the most important election ever!!! The very soul of America hangs in the balance of this election…your children will become mindless taxpaying slaves if they don’t vote the right way…women will become second-class citizens depending on how they vote…save yourselves!!!

Now then, let’s do a reality check here…

Is this election important? Yes and no. Every election is important…at the very least, we are charting the course for the next two years, possibly four. And what our politicians do today could very well impact what happens down the line…one needs to only look at what the politicians of the 80s and 90s did to see how it led to the financial crisis.

But so many things also happen in the blink of an eye…things happen that are totally unexpected, and can change our course: 9/11, Katrina…is Sandy going to be in this list?

For me, it comes down to this: who do I think can best lead us as a country? Who can best represent our nation to the world? Because in essence, that’s really what the president does. He has greatly disappointed me at times…he has infuriated me at times…but I do believe that President Obama deserves another four years as our leader.

I actually have a lot of respect for Governor Romney. I think he is a good man, a good businessman and I don’t think that a Romney presidency would necessarily be a bad thing. But I don’t believe that he is truly in touch with the majority of the American people…I don’t feel like he truly connects with a person like me.

Ultimately, people have to remember that a president can only do so much. While our government of three branches is a wonderful thing, it can also be a incredibly big headache. People love to hate Congress, but then they keep voting their own Congressmen back in…so the cycle goes on. And Supreme Court justices get lifetime appointments…

If people want true change in this country–if people genuinely want a fundamental change in the way government works–then the entire government needs to be overhauled. And let’s be honest…do we really want that? We bitch and complain about the government all the time…but for all of the problems and headaches, it works. And it works a hell of a lot better than the governments of many other countries.

So take your sorry ass to your polling place on Tuesday and vote. Even I got my absentee ballot in the mail yesterday and I am voting. Your vote may mean little in the end, but at least you’re taking a stand.

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